Monday, December 5, 2011

What More Can I Say

What more can I say that hasn't already been vomited out by every other trout mouthed heathen in this beautiful little burgh we I call "The Great State".  Frankly, a whole helluva lot.  The Hombre has been doing his share of yuletide reading and believe you me a lot of you folks are getting a big lump of coal in your stockings this year.  I could name names, I mean its not like anyone really reads this cocaine drip of a blog, I just enjoy that feeling of throat numbing recollection, so when you do actually lay your eyes on this you are all doing something that is rarely talked about, well except for behind closed doors or in bathroom stalls.  Not that my prose is frowned upon, I mean HE-ELL I 'm not talking about masturbating during air travel, which airlines do not asses an additional charge, lest you require the assistance of airline personnel.  No, rather than be that kid on the playground, I would much rather point out what I DO NOT need to see more pontificating upon.  So, in no particular order, my Christmas wish list of topics to be eschewed.



  1. Phil Cooley, we know he's cool, we know he's doing things; How a-bout you ask him where he eats and drinks, volunteers his time or spends all those hard earned dimes.
  2. Whole Foods, Somerset 2.0 or any other blarg that goes with it, unless you have an inside track and that is meant in the "Wall Street have taken docs, "downloaded" files or taped clandestine meetings" sense, no more speculation, hasn't Motown suffered enough disappointment due to rumour.
  3. The MLCC, Ricky Snyder, the 21 L.C.A.R.C. dwarfs and how liquor reform will effect YOU; However I would love to see someone write about the thousands of jobs Great State wholesalers provide and how it will effect their tax paying, home owning, contributing to the bottom line employees.
  4. The "New" Andiamo property, concept, re-launch, resurrection, etc
  5. Restaurant weeks, Wine strolls, Craft Beer Crawls; Just put it out there, no need to make me feel guiltily if I don't happen to participate in the cause.
  6. The fringe, edgy, truly hand crafted, beer movement in Southwestern MI; I adore it, my liver hates it, but this is statewide and to only speak of it in a 9 county area is like saying Sofia Vergara only has nice lips...which is true but there is so much more.
  7. BBQ, everywhere, seriously??? This is what you have chosen to hitch our wagon to, this and movies and we saw how that worked out.  How about someone throw down and open a Spanish joint (all due respect to San Chez-Grand Rapids and Sangria-Royal Oak) dios mio, How 'bout it ?!?!
  8. And finally...D-E-T-R-O-I-T.  How many of you can say you are one of the lucky 700,000+ folks that can claim a residence in the Renaissance City.  I know! Its tough not to, we're HOT, on the rise, complete with our own marketing campaign, spokesperson and tag line.  Well, if that's what you think Detroit Rock City is, then you'll never know and if that's the only place you think the Great State has to write about well may God, Allah, Jehovah, Ganesha, Buddha, Henry Ford, Ernie Harwell, Elmore Leonard, Esham and Coleman Young smack you in the chops.  Be a homer, tell me about the great places to get sauced in Mt. Pleasant, Pleasant Ridge, Rockford, Redford, Saline, Grand Ledge, Howell, Hell, Paradise or any other hooch house in between. 
Given the wide range of topics and all the yanking about by each and every one of us exercising (or fattening up) our 1st Amendment rights, it begs the question "Can we all just get some new material?"
Is there anywhere to both eat and drink well in East Lansing?  Who's making the best Manhattan in Grand Rapids?  Best Wine List Downriver?  Can you catch a buzz for only $20 USD as a single employed clean-shaven heterosexual male in Ann Arbor?  Who has the best Craft Beer on Draught in Royal Oak?  Why can't Dearborn get back to the bar scene?  Is Kalamazoo a better place for drinks for College Students or the Young Professionals who hire them?  Boy Howdy! We are going to find out, and you had better let me know if you stumble upon the answers to these questions.  So with regard to to the imbiblical masses (its a word because I have artistic license and you will read it as such), remember that the hangover you may induce, could be your own.

Please and Thank You: Please find it in your heart to give a few bucks to help out some very special children in need.  MDA's Annual Lock-up is this Thursday and could use a little help from all of us.  Not to mention keep a certain someone out of jail Click the link: Robby D is going to Jail Thank You and 'member Santa's watching.

Keep Hope Alive and if I'm not drunk (or behind bars!) then it's not Christmas

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