Real as it Gets Redux

So, I don't like Larry Bell.

"What, Me Worry?"

That's about as real as it gets with me, and anyone who knows me, knows this as fact.  To be honest I think he's a deplorable, heinous sort of a person with garlic in his soul, a Grinch if you will.  But I know that at the end o'the day, he's not the one brewing up his beer.  Hey, I mean I drive a Ford but that doesn't mean I'd condone any of the anti-Semitic heritage of one Mr. H. Ford, he wasn't working the production line. 

"Hey Tom, its actually this big under those lightbulbs of yours"



 So, by the by, I rarely drink Larry's beer.  For several reasons, many of which stem from industry stories, second hand encounters in restrooms and one, albeit brief, encounter between LB and an Amiga o' mine.  But I digress, Larry's beer twas the first fine brew from the Great State I ever swilled in the years known as College.  Choices were slim during those 7 and 1/2 years, but a Best Brown got put into my claw and that led to a full on mutiny of my liver and tongue, to change course and seek out a better hangover.  So, as I sit upon ye bar stool whilst contemplating my next libation, I find myself, at the reco of Mike the bartender, throwing down a Christmas Ale. 

Damn...It's good, and as much as it pains the Hombre to admit, it has always been good.

Maybe its a Christmas miracle or the thought of shooting a hipster's glasses out with a Red Ryder BB gun, but every holiday season this beer drinks so good I go from a soft six to a stiff twelve.  Poured out of the bottle, you can't call it malty, you can't call it hoppy, its not amber, its not spiced, its basically just Chistmas.  This is a limited engagement and I tell ya, I wish they made more like this, The alcohol is low, about 5%-6% and you'd think that they would just dumb it down but they smoothed it out on the R&B tip.  That's caramel, Whoppers (the Candy, not the BK Cow patty) with sea salt and sunshiney-citrusy-piney-hopsy stuffs to keep the smile on my face and the warmth in my your pants. 

It makes me think, maybe I'm the Bah Humbugger, I should live and let live, give this old war horse beer purveyor from Galesburg, MI a whirl again.  Get the F! outta' here.  The Hombre does what he does and that's why he's the Hombre.  Next thing I'll do is get some skinny jeans, a striped tank top and shower once a month.  Dig it.

Please and Thank You: To all the poor jack wagons out there ringing a bell behind that little red bucket.  Thanks for caring and donating your time.  And Please stop guilting me every damn time I walk buy, unless you accept Debit Cards. 

Keep Hope Alive and the leftovers sealed

Damn it feels Good

Damn, it feels good to be imbibing in the Great State.  On the two blusteriest days of October the folks that brought you "Hippies washed with Rain Fest" in Y-P-S-I and "I Cant feel my goddamned Extremities Fest" in G-R, once again give you "Let's Drink the Great States Finest in a Parking Lot Fest".  Yes, Heroes and Hobbits, THE Michigan Brewers Guild Fall Fest '12 Edition.  And what a festivus soiree it was...for 2 Days folks.  Justin' cases you missed it, and shame on your naughty bottom if you did, I of course have endowed this manuscript with the most delicious brews the Hombre got greased upon.  And in no particular order, except alphabetized by brewery, Viola...

• Arcadia- B-Craft Firkin

• Atwater- Voodoo Vater & Blueberry Cobbler Porter

• Dark Horse- Death Star Raspberry chocolate Stout

• Filling Station- Omena Harvest Ale

• Founders- Harvest Ale Wet Hop IPA

• Greenbush- Isole over Cranberries Bourbon Barrel Firkin, Chai Life Jewish Strong ale with smoked apples and smoked honey, Minor Rage w/Orange, Insufficient Kitchen Double Brown w/Telicherry Peppercorn, Vanderbush American Trippel w/Vandermill Cider Reg & BA,

• Jolly Pumpkin- La Parcela

• Liberty Street- C Monster Double IPA, Pooh Bear Honey Porter, Clementine Lemon Thyme

• The Livery- String of Ponies Firkin, Pushing Up Davies IPA

• Redwood- Imperial Hazelnut Coffee Cream Stout

• Rochester Mills- Mills Pils Czech Pilsner

• Short's- Black Chai Experimental Cream Ale, Funkin Punkin, The Fizzness Experimental Belgian IPA with Fruit, Bourbon Dirty Bird Barrel Aged Imperial Brown Ale, Black Cherry Porter

• Tri-City- Belgian Pale Ale, Mon Tresor Belgian Trippel, Giant Slayer Russian Imperial Stout

 

And I would be rather remiss not to mention all the fine human beings and wondrous Breweries that the Hombre had a chance to kibitz, schfitz and kvetsh with, whilst downing copious amount of the most marvelous nepenthe conjured in the Great State.

 

Matt, Mark & Jason who made the long drive from Atwater, Scott Farney from Sausaguck, King & Queen Sherwood, Tarek Kanaan, Rob D's Dad (Jim Brown), Scott Graham, Eric Briggeman, Shannon Kuchera, Rick Ross running security in the VIP, Beau Loncharte, Mr & Mrs & 2/3 WOJ, Scott NB, Handsome Rob, The Murphys, Sean and all the great people who care from Short's, Joe & J over at Tri-City, The lovely crew from Filling Station,  Scott, Joe, Steve and all the other Greenbushers, Wiggs at DH, Pops Kuhnenn, Brother Joe, Bearded Rob and HOP-Man from Liberty St, Jared Gild who just so happens to be everywhere (But no Lew Bega?!), Kyle and Eric from MP, The Bristows, Matt F***in' Schuett, Kyle and Kyle, Dirty John and Hilary, Libby & Harry, Addis & Kelly, Lola & Tripp's Mom and Dad, Uncle Tim & Kendra & Bill & Joanne & Joan and just how many people did you bring?!?!? Jon von Pippenbrockovich, Emily & Michael from Betty's, Barbera d'Asti, Woodburn & Michelle, Scotty D and Candace and the rest o' you Great Staters, old & young, young & hot, hot & dressed in scantily clad Halloween attire, all y'all.  Thanks for making this another mad event in the motor city. 

 

See you cats & kittens at the next shindig>>> They're throwin it, we're drinken it. 

Winter Beer Festival, February 23, 2013 @ Fifth Third Park, Comstock Park

 

 

Please and Thank You: All the hard woking, no thanks getting, time volunteering, out in the cold standing, late staying, putting up with all of us, men & women of the MBG. Become an Enthusiast and support the Great State. The MBG site (Click on it Non-Believer)

 

 

Keep Hope Alive and a tasty beverage close at hand.



Don't call it a...

Do not call it a...Swag-YOLO-As Ush'...My how we have degraded, hated and mutilated the Eeeeenglish language.  Almost as bad as the euthanization of taste, ney the ability to stand up for hooch that is tasty, in lieu of liquid that we have ingeniously marketed to be told tastes good.  Add two (2) logo glasses and that's the best Schneegleberry Gin ever made in Qatar endorsed by Johnson Jackson.  Send me 576 Gift Packs. 

But hey, who doesn't like a gift pack.  SOOOOOOO, I'm coming back with some Holy-day cheer, fresh out the boca just for all you non-believers.  We gone'be spreading the religion of the finer glass fillers.  And what in the H! can you do to make these here hallowed "World Series-Halloween-Election Day-Thanksgiving-Chanukah-Christmas" beverages feckin' grate...Ask, please ask, be adventurous.

So, look out teeth, look out gums, over the lips and here Uncle Javy...continues these shenanigans. 

Naughty Naughty.

Please and Thank You: To anyone and everyone that has ever spent too much on a bottle o'wine, drank off the top shelf or insisted upon craft draught..You are tip top.


Keep Hope Alive and never count out Javy. Cha Chi ChaCha Chi Cha Cha Cha



 

 

FIIIIIIISH N' CHIIIPS!!!